As I was implying before there are big changes on my way. I am going to start my Master’s programme in English and American Studies next month. I am going to move to a different city that is more than half an hour from my hometown. I’m on the hunt for a shared flat, and it all isn’t that easy when you live several hours away and don’t have much money to spend on travel expenses. But I’m getting there. On Sunday I’ll have another appointment with some people who are sharing a flat, and if I’m lucky that will be my last visit to potential future residences.
Another thing that is consuming my time and headspace right now is the packing. I’m downsizing relentlessly on the things I have, because a) I would love to live more minimalistic than I do now and get rid of the clutter, b) I haven’t sorted through my stuff in years, and a lot of it I don’t use or need anymore, c) I don’t feel like lugging around too many boxes, and d) I’m curious what treasures I might uncover in the depths of my boxes (I love boxes!).
So far I have stumbled upon old photos, a lot of them, actually. It’s funny to see how different my friends and I looked only 2 or 3 years ago. So young, almost like teenagers still. And we’re only in our mid-twenties now. It’s like looking at a completely different person. And in a way we have become different persons throughout the years and struggles of finding our path in life. And still, it’s hard to wrap my head around it.
I also uncovered some of my very early writings from when I was 13 or 14. I really envy my younger self for all the imagination and the spare time to write. Now it’s different. I actually have to study a lot to keep up with the fast-paced university schedule. Back in highschool I was learning by osmosis basically. Just listened to what the teacher told us about a topic, read a text once, and remembered it without any problems. And now there are so many things claiming my headspace in addition to studying, like bills and a job. I’m still figuring out how to be creative in a reality like that. One thing I learned from the last years is to keep organized, and not postponing stuff, because it has the tendendy to pile up into a huge mess.
I’m glad though that I kept most of my early writings throughout the years. It makes me sad to think about all the stories I threw away, I still can remember them, though not in detail. I wouldn’t be able to write them again in the same way, so they are just a pleasant memory from the past that I will always think about fondly. I might write stories similar to them one day. After all, my writing has evolved in the past 10 years. Or at least, that’s what I hope.